Unlocking Potential: Getting to Know the Emotional Side of Athletic Performance

A simple switch in mindset has the potential to change an athlete’s life both on and off the field.

Learning how an athlete can listen to their alarms and understand where they come from is a powerful technique that can change the way an athlete performs.

I once coached an incredible athlete on my lacrosse team. She could fly down the field with her long legs and gazelle-like stride. She was taller than those around her and had an intimidating force about her when the ball came near. Her potential was great. 

But every time she made a mistake, her defense mechanisms kicked in. Walls up. And when the walls go up, the brain shuts down. She couldn’t complete the skill, couldn’t learn.  She stopped trying. Stopped communicating. Connection broken. Trust lost. Potential locked.

Let’s talk about those walls...

Athletes build walls (defense mechanisms) to protect themselves from failure. It’s a fascinating thing, really. The brain identifies a threat & creates alarms to be sounded when danger arises that remotely resembles the threat of the past. It doesn’t do this to mess with us. It’s intention is to protect us. To survive.

Emotions are a common alarm that athletes will sound. Their brain sets the alert and once activated? The walls go up. In this athlete's case, the emotional alarms were tears, anger, frustration, and isolation. Yelling at herself. Teammates. Coaches. Referees. Opposing team. Her parents.

Her body was alerting her to something hard. For survival.

At its core, this is a beautiful system. But when the alarms become too loud? Our body becomes more scared of the alarms themselves than the reason the alarm was activated in the first place. 

Athletes, in this space, are not thriving. They are surviving. Barely. 

And oftentimes? The more emotional the athlete gets, the less people want to help. Eventually, people start giving up on them. They become labeled as  “difficult”, “un-coachable”, “too much”. 

This space? It’s lonely.

An athlete with all the potential in the world can crumble with one mistake, one critique, one taunt from the opposing team. One trigger. Alarm activated. Walls up. Player done. Game over.

I’ve worked with many athletes like this over the years, and most are surprised to hear me say that emotions are…

a good thing. Always. 

It’s the bodies’ way of talking. And I don’t think that should be ignored.  But I do think we should be given a choice in whether we’d like to activate the alarm.

Good athletes have the ability to allow emotions to make them great athletes. Almost like a superpower. But if not used, good athletes have the ability to allow emotions to make them stop playing. Becoming their kryptonite. Sad. Depressed. Helpless.

The player starts to fear the strong emotions they have inside. And then? They stop trying. Not to be difficult or un-coachable or too much. But rather to feel safe. To protect themselves from the fear of the unknown. The uncontrollable.

The mind is a beautiful place. 

Until? 

It’s not.

If you can relate to this (or know someone who can), there is one thing that, if used correctly, can provide immediate assistance to a struggling athlete. 

What I’m about to tell you hurts me a little bit to say because I know it’s hard. I wish there was an easier way. But there isn’t. Here it is.

We can no longer be afraid of the emotions. We must get to know them. 

Did an alarm sound for you while reading that last sentence? Did a wall attempt to go up?

I get it. But what if we allow the walls to stay down? For a little bit? In this space, we can start to practice a leveled-up way of thinking. It cannot be done from a place of shame or frustration. That’s where the game ends for most. If we instead look at the alarms/emotions from a place of love and curiosity? With no judgement? Just noticing what’s happening inside and outside the athletes body and asking questions to better understand?

Ohhhhh, that’s the good stuff.

That’s the definition of being mindful. It will not only give in the journey of a competitive athlete, but it will continue to give back throughout the athlete’s journey in life. This leveled-up thought process, when used correctly, has the potential to unlock another emotion…joy. Joy in the journey.

This tool is that powerful. It’s that big a deal.

It becomes less about the emotion itself and more about the question of where the emotion is coming from. Why is the alarm sounding? And in this space? 

A shift in thought has the potential to occur. A life-changing shift. 

Remember all that talk about loneliness? It’s in this shift that athletes will start to realize they are not crazy. That their body was lovingly trying to keep them safe. Shame and anger tend to melt away. Walls lower.

And from here?

The magic starts to happen. 

One word of advice: don’t practice this muscle in the middle of an active alarm. It’s not going to go well. Our brains think differently in this space. Stress responses are in full force. You will not get your best self here. Trust me. I’ve tried.

What does work? Allowing space to sit with the emotions after the fact. That’s where my mindset sessions become so effective. It’s in those sessions where the athlete is guided through journal prompts to gently and lovingly attempt to get to the root of the issue. From there, we can start connecting the dots.  Unlocking potential.

The threats are no longer threatening. The alarms are no longer alarming. The emotions are calm. And curious. Empowering. And the effects? They are immediate.

It’s in this space that we can start to look at the emotions and alarms from a softer space and get to understand why they are here. It’s in this space that we start to be stronger because of the emotions. And we start to feel some control. We start to get a choice in the matter.

The athlete from a year ago? She learned to be better because of it.  Because of her alarms. Because of her failures. So that she could learn from them. Grow. Shifting from a space of loneliness and helplessness to a place of happiness and joy. Potential unlocked.

I’ve done this exercise with countless athletes. Sitting with them and unpacking the what’s to get to the why’s. There’s power in this space. If we allow ourselves to enter it.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. 

To find this and more reasons why mindset holds athletes back from unlocking their potential and how I can help, sign up for my free downloadable guide here.